Dear anyone with a terminal case of enoughitis,
A terminal case of enoughitis is when you never feel that what you do is good enough. Sound familiar? It often gets mistaken for perfectionism because you get paralyzed, delay deadlines and blow off doing things because you think it will never be good enough. But, it is not because you are lazy or do not care–it is the opposite–you care too much.
But, I don’t think there is such a thing as caring too much. Are you really going to go to jail for being interested in doing things well and taking pride in what you do? Terminal cases of enoughistis are intertwined with the concept of being an “Overachiever”. Why? “Over” is a judgment. “Over” is subjective and based on someone else’s opinion. And those opinions are formed from their own issues and experiences. Who is anyone to call another person “too much” of anything, anyway? We are not “over” because of other peoples sub-par levels of under! (Yes–that is a judgment!)
You know the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”? Well, it’s bullshit. Words can destroy you. Every week, a patient or a reader tells me his or her childhood story of being told by parents, grandparents, teachers or other “authority figures” to shut up or go away – or how they were called ugly, stupid, and worthless. It’s obvious how these words can hurt a child. An entire self-help industry hinges on making it your business to understand how deeply these messages have f*cked us up our whole lives. These words read in our minds like information into a computer and then it spits out perceptions of never being good enough. It is not what we are thinking, but what we are thinking about what we are thinking–getting stuck never believing that we are enough.
But we are. If you are reading this right now, you are further ahead of this “problem” than you realize. The intensity of enoughitits shows that you are invested in the outcome of doing well. Time to see this “problem” for what it really is–one of your superpowers.
Yes, we have superpowers. I saw myself as less than enough because I was looking at myself through a distorted lens and comparing my insides to other people's outsides.
Turns out, other people's opinions of me or what I thought their opinion was of me, was none of my business. Nor was my false perception that I was not enough.
The truth of our Terminal Enoughitis conundrum–the propensity for high energy and ingenuity is our strength–our superpowers.
Over the past few years, I found a system, like a formula to help channel my superpowers–a way to S.H.I.F.T. and sort it all out. Monthly I write out my goals; spiritually, healthfully, in relationships, financially, as a mom and in my career. Daily I journal and write gratitude and things that are working in my life. Then I take the things that are not working or are stuck and put them in the F*ck It Bucket.
This formula–S.H.I.F.T. takes what is in my brain and puts it on paper so it is no longer on my To-do and To-don't lists of life and becomes my Ta-Dahs fueling my superpowers.
So world, and former fellow terminal enoughitis thrivers, in order to share my formula with you… I am excited to introduce (drum roll please)...
S.H.I.F.T. Powerful Planner & Journal for an Unapologetically Kick Ass Life
Available next week on Amazon…
Your No bull-shiFt, mental fitness, advice giving, planner & journal writing, shame abolishing, health advocator and doer,