• Dr. Dara

Dear everyone showing up and honoring a Pandemic Thanksgiving,

Updated: Sep 9

Every post I see is about Thanksgiving, being grateful or an interjection of everyone’s expert two cents on how to deal with this wonky #pandemic holiday season. Of course people post about themselves and their miracle advice while they look all pretty and happy. You know, people telling you how to be grateful and happy that clearly have their shiFt together enough (or they are successful at faking it) to try and tell others what to do!


Here is what is on my mind. Six months ago I decided nothing was going to change in my life if nothing changed... so, we hopped in our car with 2 kids, 3 dogs, some clothes stuffed in a trailer and moved to North Carolina. I packed up our house to get it ready to sell while I also went through the motions of a back up plan to return, just in case. Really I had no idea what was going to happen, but in my gut, in my core, I knew - I ain’t goin back! We were moving in the middle of a pandemic. I can’t even believe it has been 6 months! Then, I think about Thanksgiving of last year. Shit, a year ago, life was stressful and crazy without a pandemic I had no idea a year later I would be living in another state!

So yes, here we are and it is 2020 and we are in a pandemic. Things are weird and different. And the reality is, for most it is sad, lonely, stressful, frustrating, depressing, even awful. None of us need anyone to tell us not to feel or experience! In fact, I propose we acknowledge, feel, experience, whatever the hell is going on and keep showing up. That stuff, those feelings, these sucky things, the ick, and the good things and blessings of all this is what propel us forward to make CHANGE. It is not rocket science that energy goes where energy flows! If you are stuck in all the crap and focus on it, you get more, even bigger crap. Leave the crap alone, leave the ick alone, leave what you don't want alone, and focus on what you do want.


So, imagine an old fashioned scale with a metal dish on each side. Put the crap on the left side and add sunshine to the right. Without some crap it can’t balance the light.


No matter our mood, state of mind, or level of annoyance with holiday commercials or Keebler elves tempting us to eat gooey, sugary foods to numb, comfort and bury all uncomfortable feelings- show up in any capacity you can. Bruises, chaos, hardship, loss…. However it has shown up for you.

Six months ago we never imagined we would still be in a pandemic? And six months before that - never in our wildest dreams did we imagine saying “thank you for the pandemic that is about to happen!” But you know what, this year, I will give gratitude for all the lessons, love, and trials and tribulations this pandemic has brought. The pandemic physically and literally moved me into another state (state literally being physical and mental) Let's be intentional about where we want to be in six months and really clear where we want to be RIGHT NOW. Today is a very clear picture of tomorrow. Not what will happen, but how you will happen to it!

So like Malachy McCourt said, “If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you're pissing on the present.”


Happy Thanksgiving! And STOP PISSING ON TODAY!


Warmly,

Your no bull-shiFt, advice giving, non- pissing, Mom, Psychologist and wife, Dr. Dara



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