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  • Writer's pictureDr. Dara

No more social media?

Dear anyone wondering what their life would be like without social media?

Do you think we should start writing letters and sending postcards to each other? Maybe even write in cursive? Would we go back to calling people instead of texting? Would we sit and play cards and board games and not aimlessly search the web? Would we take more responsibility for our own purpose and not compare ourselves to others, or better yet, stop blaming others for our unhappiness?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I have spent the past 5 weeks living in an RV with my family–like a minimalist! It is incredible how much I DON’T NEED IN LIFE! It is also incredible how full my heart feels having everything most important to me so close. I’ve contentedly lain awake many nights with the window open, feeling the fresh, crisp, mountain air on my face and listening to the synchronistic rhythm of the breathing of 3 humans and 2 fur babies. In the darkness and quiet, I can hear their heartbeats.

What else do I NEED, what else really matters besides what is under my RV roof? What is REALLY important?

In the past several years, I discovered I have a love for writing as I have the passion of being a healer. There is something about words flowing through my brain, down to my heart and releasing out my fingers. I would imagine my experience writing is similar to an artist being one with their canvas freeing their inner desires, stuckness and essence. It is the process along with the sense of satisfaction and euphoria of the completed piece of art.

In my artistry, my writing, I often wonder if I am doing it for others, but the reality is it’s an exploration of my own self-growth and my own mortality. It is from there; I find peace and the inspiration for SHIFT… and for the book I am finishing.

Earlier this week I put a post (on good ol’ social media) about walls that block me in my life and how those walls are my responsibility. A dear friend recently shared her wisdom of the idea of me being responsible for my own feelings instead of blaming the inadequacies of others or my perception of their inadequacies. I have a responsibility to own MY experiences and to own MY own BEHAVIORS. I am responsible for keeping my SHIFT together. I am responsible for recognizing what my purpose and mission is and not to rely on others to fulfill

my needs or blame them when they don’t. Go ahead, Re-read that again!

What walls are blocking you? Does social media hold you back or is social media just the excuse because you are unclear of WHAT YOU WANT and you are looking for social media to fulfill something inside you?

Don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting we all just quit social media (but it may not be the worst suggestion!!) because we would probably just find another way to bury and superficially fulfill our emptiness.

But, I am suggesting we get very clear of what our intentions are with social media. What is our purpose to be on it? Our names, our pictures, our lives are transparently displayed there. What are we endorsing and owning? I remember the contemplation to even start on social media and now the consideration is where to stop!

My first time on social media was similar to the first day I opened my own copy of SHIFT. I got stuck on the first page of the journal . I designed it, but it was different when I had it in my hands. It became real. I saw the space to put my name in it and froze. Putting my name on it meant I had to own what I just created and have accountability for what I was about to mastermind and intend. I was overwhelmed to make the commitment and scared I would not do it perfectly. I was literally concerned that I would not write my name neat enough. Several days later, I wrote my name in it- in ink!

If I thought writing my name was hard, the mere thought of writing my mission statement in it made me close SHIFT for a week. I mean duh, my mission is to be happy. But what does happiness look like for me? Like really look like with specifics that I can take responsibility for? Because whether on social media or in my relationships there has been much time and energy invested in others being responsible for my happiness–and my mission. Declaring my mission statement was empowering as it gave me the privilege to author my own HAPPY.

So, really it is not about what life would be like without social media, it is what life would feel and look like if our intention was clear and we are taking responsibility for our own happiness. The clarity leaves us solid and validated and not lost in the black hole of comparison on social media or seeking distractions to mask the anxiety, sadness, enoughities or emptiness.


Your No bull-shiFt, mental fitness, advice giving, S.H.I.F.T. Powerful Planner and Journal for an Unapologetically Kick Ass Life author, shame abolishing, health advocator and doer,

Dr. Dara

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