Dear everyone with a maternal instinct,
Quite frankly, I was always the person that mocked Hallmark for making a ton of money on holidays like Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, etc. Don’t get me wrong, it is not that I don’t appreciate my mother, all mothers, or mother figures for that matter. More than “America runs on Dunkin”, THE WORLD RUNS ON MOTHERS! I just think Mother’s Day is not a day and is about showing appreciation all the time and when it feels natural. I don’t like it for me or anyone else when anything feels like an obligation. I know it may sound like I am bitter or like Scrooge, but I am just offering a different perspective. Sometimes we get caught in the way we think things are supposed to go and we miss all the real magic.
This year Mother’s Day sure is not going to look the way we expected it to be, duhhhh.
Maybe you can’t see your mom. Maybe you can’t gather with family. Maybe you can’t see your children. Maybe you are not a mom and you think Mother’s Day just sucks! Maybe you are relieved to not have to make a big deal and have all the hoopla this year! Maybe you are not even a woman and you fill a maternal role in the lives of others and feel disconnected. Maybe, maybe, maybe!
I propose Mother’s Day this year gives the opportunity for it to look different. What if today, Mother’s Day is a day for you to mother yourself and tap into your own maternal instinct. You know, nurture yourself. Some people (shrinks) use the fancy term self-care! Basically, I am saying today does not have to be about what it isn’t or what it can’t be. It can be about what you want nurturance and maternalness to be! Like Burger King, “You can have it your way!”
What does mothering look like to you? Is it about physical contact of hugs and affection? Someone listening to you? Feeling a connection? Making you dinner? Knowing what you want even when you are not sure? Never taking NO for an answer? Unconditional love? Honest feedback? Making you feel invincible and important?
Tell me what part of this you can’t do for yourself?? Okay, fine, the hugging part is rough. Get a weighted blanket!
Here is my promise…
If you do YOU today and mother yourself you will be amazed how other people, whether they are your mother, someone else’s mother, or a friend that is a non-mother can start showing up in your life in different ways. Others won’t just boringly or conveniently be in your life. You won’t count on them for your happiness and to fill your needs. Emotional connections will become richer, tighter, and with greater ease.
I hear ya, you are not feeling it or Mother’s Day is about celebrating your mother or honoring mothers or this seems ridiculous, blah, blah, blah….
Fine, I am just saying that if your love cup is full then you can show up for others in a different way and they can show up for you.
Btw, a full love cup is when you, yourself, are physically (food, exercise, rest) satiated, consistent, and able to set limits for yourself, emotionally able to do this with others, and spiritually connected!
Even if you are not feeling this and you think what I am suggesting is dumb, do it anyway. Ya know, fake it till you make it. Try it on like a shirt you swore you would never wear. What do you have to lose? Besides, in my deepest Jewish-Yankee accent, “Wouldn’t yer motha be proud of you if you took carrrrre of yaself!”
Happy Mother YOU day!
Happy Mothering Day!
And, Happy Mother’s Day! With gratitude to all the beauties out there that have led the path as mommy models, been pillars of maternal strength, and are rockstar, bad-ass, superwomen. Thank you!
Yours truly,One mother that did not get up to an alarm, is going to take the day off of running her world, let her own maternal instinct dictate and let others love on her, Dara