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  • Writer's pictureDr. Dara

Honoring a Friend

Today I honor a dear friend, mid wife, healer, humanitarian, and true gift to the world. For others many respects are paid to Senator McCain and Aretha Franklin as well.

Everyone grieves differently, in their own time, in their own way.

Grief occurs when mind causes a thought or feeling in order to promote a connection in a way that is no longer possible.

People think something needs to be done to stop the feelings of despair.

Pain dissipates when mind realizes that there is no action that needs to be taken.

People get stuck in grief because they think those they cared for should not have died. There are feelings of blame. Some experience anger thinking it should have been prevented. Often people are left feeling incomplete.

When feelings of respect are experienced for a hero or heroine, disbelief of them passing impacts at an even greater level, leaving individuals fearful in their own lives. “If it can happen to them, it can happen to me or someone in my family”. People feel scared and vulnerable.

There is often the idea that grief is a sign of love and respect and that people who don’t grieve must not have truly loved. If she’s okay, people may think that she didn’t love enough.

-The amount of pain has nothing to do with the amount of love and respect for the loved person. -There are people who had an incredible love who didn’t grieve at all, and there have been people who felt hatred and contempt who grieve forever.

Sometimes people believe that grief is the only connection left to the loved person. They are afraid to lose the grief because they don’t want to lose the connection they have.

– Grief is not the connection. It has been blocking the connection.

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