All the times in my head I was going to do something different or bold. Largely around food and weight. Oh the drastic changes I would make.
At the end, only to find myself with great feelings of shame and guilt because I thought I did not have will power or did not have the strength to follow through. Come to realize I only failed because I failed to realize it was a data misread in my mind and I did not set realistic goals.
The anger and aggravation. Sadness and disbelief. I blamed me. My failure reconfirmed my brokenness and my forever sentence to not be good enough. I wore the brokenness as I was damaged and as it were my name.
“Hello, I am f*ck up. Don’t expect much of me. Allow me to fail you before you can fail me.”
‘The bridge’ is saying hello, but not then having to commit to the person to be in a long term relationship. Saying hello without any determination of whether or not you want to continue the conversation. Saying hello, is just that, hello, with no further consideration or decision of whether you will continue.
Sometimes, ‘the bridge’ is not verbal, but a smile or choice to make eye contact. ‘The bridge’ can be subtle and not require an action, but just a gesture. ‘The bridge’ is only an intention.
Setting an intention draws energy towards where you are headed. Once the intention of the bridge is set, you can’t not get there.
You don’t need to be twice as good or twice as better, just a little bit better than you were before.
‘The bridge’ is sustainable and realistic. Something that fits into your lifestyle. Something manageable. Something that does not make your stomach cramp up when you think about it or your sphincter tighten. Something you do not squint your eyes up about.
‘The bridge’ is a feeling of alright or, no feeling at all. Engaging in ‘the bridge’ is natural, so it does not elicit any additional thoughts or feelings.